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Kai - Le Kommunique:
I speak on behalf of the Spanish Armada. - (2001-01-03)

Tony - Digital Garbage:
Game Review: Oni - (2001-01-01)

Dan - The Word:
This Guy Reads from a Card! - (2001-01-24)

Jason - The Gospel According To Bigfoot:
Honor Guard - (2001-01-24)

Guest - Jared Goldberg:
- ()

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (again)
(2000-12-30 - Movie)
Wishing I were Sincho Galameany
(2000-12-25 - Idle Thought)
The World According To Garp
(2000-12-25 - Book)

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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
(2000-12-23 - Movie)
(2000-12-22 - Game)

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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
(2001-01-24 - Movie)
The Comedy of Errors
(2001-01-19 - Play)
The Two Towers
(2001-01-17 - Book)

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32 Stories: Optic Nerve Mini Comics
(2001-01-16 - Comic)
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
(2001-01-03 - Movie)
Sitting Around On New Year's
(2000-12-31 - Hanging Out)

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Updates Mondayish

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January 24, 2001

If I'd known you were coming, I would've drawn you a strip.

Sadly, my artistic vision leaves something to be desired. I hope you'll forgive me if I merely entertain you today with that most venerable of all art forms: the written word. Okay, well maybe "entertain" is a bit strong. How about occupy? Is that acceptable? Good.

First things first. I have been informed that our erstwhile friend and compatriot Evan Ritt is serving us on grounds of a copyright infringement. It seems that Kai's utterance of "C-C-C-Combo!" during Monday's strip violated a verbal contract with Mr. Ritt pursuant to his claims that he "stole it from Killer Instinct and rightfully made it [his]!" Following our rebuttal that it was the legitimate property of video game company Rare, he replied: "I have but one thing to say: 'C-c-c-Combo... Breaker!!'" Hearings are expected later this month.

A couple of new columns are up for your reading enjoyment. Jason explains how honor societies and killing machines go together like sugar and caffeine (and you thought Chow Yun-Fat was cool before you knew he had a 4.0 GPA) and I investigate how being a cesspool of worthless information can net you a cool million.

In other news, you may have noticed some...service interruptions in the past few days. Strips being late, the archive being slightly...glitchy. Are these signs of wear and tear on CXM's site? Forbidding portents of the imminent decay of the Internet? Fear not! These are our gifts to you, our loyal readers! As of tomorrow, CXM turns one month old! What better way to celebrate this than to create these special features which you can enjoy on a sporadic basis! Rule! (Kai, don't hurt me!). I mentioned our one month anniversary to Kai and Jason, and they had this to say respectively.

Fnord23517: BTW, it's our one month anniversary on Thursday...
ThePelkus: I'll buy you all post-its.

Fnord23517: BTW, it's our one month anniversary on Thursday...
InstantSuperfine: haha, the comic you mean
InstantSuperfine: I thought you were a girl for a sec (didn't read who was writing this), and I was like, "What the HELL are you talking about?"

As you can see, the day is foremost in everybody's mind. As I have also now made our AIM screennames public, feel free to IM us. Also, in addition, I was told to mention to you that you can reach ALL of us here at CXM by sending mail to

The forums are seriously hopping. I suggest you check them out pronto. This makes us happy, and when we're happy, YOU'RE happy. Right? Right.

As you know, I've been re-reading J.R.R. Tolkien's spectacular fantasy saga, Lord of the Rings. I have also been thinking a lot about the upcoming movies, and I'm interested to see how some things are translated to the big screen. Today, I determined one thing that would make me happy.

I would like to see Gollum singing the Pepperidge Farms Goldfish theme song. You know the one. That would make me a happy man. I can see it now: "We love the fisshes cause they're so delissshus! Gone goldifisshen'!" (I'm very sorry I couldn't find a sound file to go with that - I even tried the dread "N" word. If you've got one, drop me a line).

Join us on Friday when sanity returns to CXM, and a new strip makes it appearance. Til then.

Dan Moren could eat 'em everyday, and his mom says that's okay.

Quote of the Day: "PH34R MY L33T N3KKID SKILLZ!"
-Largo, MegaTokyo

All text and images 2000 by Jason, Kai, Dan, Tony, and Mecha Gaijin. He WILL kick your ass. Instant superfine!
All characters are ™ & © their respective owners. All Rights Reserved. Some Comics Ex Machina (CXM) strips are satirical in nature, and are not intended maliciously. CXM has invented all names and situations in its strips, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody. CXM makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceeding information.